Breaking Brad: RG3 thongs; another beer garden in Omaha -
Published Wednesday, April 18, 2012 at 1:30 pm / Updated at 12:27 pm
Breaking Brad: RG3 thongs; another beer garden in Omaha

Brad Dickson's humor column, "Breaking Brad" appears daily on and in The World-Herald. To read more from Brad, check out his past columns at and follow him on Twitter.

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Brad's afternoon edition

Read Brad's morning edition here.

* Tuesday at the Portland, Ore., airport, a man removed all of his clothing to protest airport security screening. Not surprisingly, he still met the Southwest Airlines dress code.

*The Secret Service is reportedly giving Ted Nugent extra scrutiny after his endorsement of Mitt Romney. That's sign No. 1 your endorsement was over the top: The Secret Service is alerted.

* Later this month, Tom Becka is returning to Omaha radio with a show on KKAR. Becka is going full-steam ahead after finally getting over the shock of realizing that he was out while the KFAB late-night psychic still had a job.

* The NFL has unveiled its regular-season and TV schedules. This is surprising - instead of any Tampa Bay Buccaneers games, the networks will be televising four Peyton Manning/Denver Broncos practices.

* North Korea just conducted a disappointing long-range missile test. The government is trying to spin it. Instead of the world's worst long-range missile, they're classifying it as the most successful bottle rocket launch ever.

  * In Myanmar a candidate who was under house arrest was elected to parliament. In the U.S., we use a reverse chronology: First the candidate is elected to Congress and then he's arrested.

* A new book asserts that O.J. Simpson is innocent. After hearing this, Simpson leapt to his feet and said, "I am?"

* The Omaha Earth Day celebration on Saturday will feature environmental speakers, live music, 100 "green exhibits" and a beer garden. This answers the age-old question: "Is it remotely possible for Omaha to hold any large event without a beer garden?" No, it is not.

* To tie it to Earth Day, the beer garden will be recycled from one of the 3,249 other events in Omaha in the past year featuring a beer garden.

* Actor Alec Baldwin is engaged. The couple will be setting a date just as soon as they find an airline willing to fly them on the honeymoon.

  * Have you seen that new movie - "Titanic 3D: We Want The Rest of Your Money"?

* I missed the WNBA draft Monday night. For the third consecutive year, I instead opted to watch the qualifying round of the regional Yugoslavian yo-yo championships.

* Some fans are going to wear Robert Griffin III thongs to the NFL draft. This will still be less offensive than Mel Kiper's hair.

* This weekend an international equestrian event takes place at the CenturyLink Center, and on May 15 the Nebraska primary is held. It's a tossup which event will result in more manure in the streets.

* On her cooking show, Shaq beat Rachael Ray in a game of basketball. However, she bounced back the next day and, after removing a tuna souffle from the oven, trounced the Charlotte Bobcats 89-73.

Contact the writer: Brad Dickson    |   402-444-1019    |  

Brad comments in a funny way on topical events in the news and the wide world of sports.

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